Good enough mother FAQs

What is the good enough mother mentality?

The good enough mother mentality centers on the idea that being consistently loving, present, and responsive—without being perfect—is ideal. It means trusting that your child doesn’t need flawless parenting to thrive. 

In fact, you may find that they benefit from experiencing small frustrations and seeing how you handle the messiness of real life. This approach prioritizes connection over control, compassion over performance, and shows your child that imperfection is part of being human.

A good enough parent lets go of the myth that you need to be “everything” to your child, and instead focuses on being enough. 

Is the good enough mother mentality about lowering standards?

The good enough mother mentality is about redefining standards, not about lowering them. Instead of pushing moms to the brink of burnout, the good enough mindset replaces pressures with compassion and sustainability.

This doesn’t mean you stop caring or doing your best. It means your “best” is allowed to vary from day to day. Some days, you’ll bounce from one activity to the next and sit down to a balanced meal at the end of it all. Other days, you may watch a movie and have a frozen pizza for dinner. Both are fine.

How can I tell if I’m being a good enough mother?

If you’re asking this question, chances are you already are. Good enough mothers worry about doing a good job. They care deeply. They show up, even when they’re tired, overwhelmed, or unsure. They keep trying. They love their kids fiercely, even when they don’t love the way the day went.

Being a good enough mother means you make mistakes, but also ensure your child feels secure, loved, and supported overall. Not every moment will be a parenting win — but the big picture matters more than any single snapshot.

How are perfectionism and motherhood linked?

Perfectionism and motherhood are linked, in part because moms are always under pressure to do everything the “right” way. 

This can morph into a toxic perfectionism that leaves moms constantly feeling like they’re falling short. It’s exhausting, and it’s not sustainable. The good enough mother model offers a lifeline: a reminder that doing your best is enough, even when it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

How does the good enough mother concept apply to fathers or other caregivers?

Even though it’s called the good enough mother, this concept applies to anyone raising a child. The heart of the idea is universal: that consistent, loving, imperfect care builds trust, resilience, and emotional health in kids.

Caregivers don’t need to be superheroes. They need to be present, honest, and willing to repair when things go sideways. Every child benefits from adults who model humanity, not perfection.