How to practice talking to anyone: 12 tips to improve your social skills

You don’t need to overhaul your personality or rehearse 90-second TED Talks in the mirror to get better at talking to people. You just need to make a few small shifts that you can practice in the wild.

These aren’t magic tricks, and they won’t turn you into an extrovert overnight. But they will make conversations feel a little less like walking a tightrope in a windstorm. 

1. Start small, like chatting with someone in the grocery store 

If the thought of chatting someone up at a networking event makes you want to hide in a bathroom stall for eternity, don’t start there. Start where the stakes are low. Say hi to your barista and ask how their day is or make a casual comment to the person in line next to you. 

These micro-interactions are prime practice grounds. You’re not trying to have the conversation of a lifetime while you wait for your latte. You’re building muscle memory. And once you try a few of these types of interactions every week, your social confidence starts to grow.

2. Be curious instead of clever

One of the biggest myths about being “good” at conversation is that you have to be entertaining. You don’t. You just need to be genuinely curious about the other person. Think of yourself as a detective, not a performer. 

If someone mentions their job, don’t pivot to yours out of habit. Instead, ask them what they like about what they do. If they share a story, ask how it made them feel. Most people are craving to be heard. Curiosity is magnetic. Cleverness is optional.

💙 Show that you’re Listening with these helpful tips from Tamara Levitt.

3. Make peace with awkwardness

You know what’s common in almost every conversation ever? Weird pauses, people losing their train of thought, someone laughing at the wrong part of the story. These moments aren’t signs you’ve failed at conversing. They’re just the reality of human interaction. 

Let go of the pressure to fill every silence. If you blank out, say so, and then move on. If you need more support, here are 10 ways to keep your calm when things go off the rails.

4. Use your shared environment as a jumping-off point

When your mind goes blank, don’t panic. Just take a moment to look around and notice the room you’re in, the food you’re eating, the music, or the event, as those are all potential springboards for conversation. These kinds of observations are simple, low-pressure, and create a sense of shared experience.