Are you new to the world of gay wellness and wondering, “What exactly is a gay massage?” Is this your first time booking one?

Maybe you’ve had massages before, but you’re still unsure of how this whole thing works.

That’s totally fine! We’re here to help guide you through it all.

Key Facts

1. Gay massage supports both physical and emotional well-being: It combines therapeutic touch with a safe, affirming environment that allows men—especially LGBTQ+ individuals—to fully relax and feel seen.
2. It reduces tension and stress in the body: Massage can release tight muscles, improve circulation, and lower cortisol levels, leading to deeper calm and improved mood.

3. Touch plays a key role in healing: For many men, especially those who’ve faced emotional suppression or trauma, compassionate touch fosters emotional release and connection.

4. It enhances self-awareness and body confidence: Massage helps men reconnect with their bodies in a non-judgmental way, promoting a sense of self-acceptance and presence.

5. Sessions can be tailored to comfort and boundaries: Consent, communication, and mutual respect are essential—therapists often personalize the session based on emotional and physical needs.

6. Gay massage is not solely erotic: While sensual elements may exist depending on the provider and client, therapeutic intent and healing are at the core.

7. It’s a growing practice in men’s holistic health: More therapists now offer gay massage services specifically to address the unique physical and emotional needs of gay, bi, or queer men.

What Is a Gay Massage?

A gay massage is a professional service where one gay man gives another man a massage to help him relax, ease stress, and feel better overall. The goal is to create a calm, welcoming place where you feel comfortable. (Here’s a simple guide to gay massages.)

The types of massages used in gay massage (like Swedish or deep tissue) are customized to meet your needs.

No worries—after talking to massage therapists in our network, we’ve put together a guide to gay massage etiquette, with everything you need to know before, during, and after your session.

Gay Massage Etiquette for the Best Experience

Finding the right therapist can take some effort, but once you do, you want to make sure you’re on the right track. Before your massage, there are some things you should know. Let’s go over them:

Booking in Advance

Try to book your session ahead of time. This gives your therapist a chance to prepare for you and make your experience better. Sure, they might have an open spot at the last minute, but it’s better to plan ahead when possible.

We asked 20 gay massage therapists in Palm Springs, for example, and 15 of them said they prefer a 24-hour notice when someone wants to book. Some therapists have more flexible schedules, but many have other jobs too.

Also, don’t cancel right before your session! It’s hard for the therapist to fill that spot last-minute, and it’s a loss for them. If you do need to cancel at the last second, the polite thing is to pay for the session anyway.

Treat your massage therapist with respect, and everything will be fine. Here are more tips on booking a gay massage.

Asking for Discounts

It’s okay to ask about pricing, but asking for discounts is not.

Why? Great massage therapists provide an amazing service. Their work takes a lot of skill and energy. Asking for a lower price is like trying to haggle at a high-end store—it just doesn’t work.

Asking for Pictures

It’s normal to want to work with a therapist who is clean, well-groomed, and professional. If their pictures don’t show that, feel free to ask for more. This can help you feel more comfortable booking your session.

But remember, don’t ask for pictures of their private parts! This isn’t a hookup situation. If you’re just looking for that kind of thing, Gay Wellness is not the place for it.

Tip: Asking for professional pictures is fine. Asking for nudes is not.

Illness

If you’re sick, like with a cold or flu, it’s best to reschedule. If your therapist is sick, they can’t work either, and they don’t want to spread illness to clients.

After the pandemic, everyone knows it’s better to be safe and take care of everyone’s health.

Massage Time!

Now, you’re probably wondering how the whole experience goes, right? There are some simple rules to follow, and we’ll help you with that too.

In this video, Trevor and Peter talk about how to book a massage. The main idea? Respect!

How to Book a Gay Massage on Gay Wellness

Massage therapists usually like to get bookings over text. You can easily text them by clicking the orange button with their phone number.

When you text, introduce yourself and say where you found them. Be clear about the details, like when and where you want the massage, and ask any questions you have (like parking, location, rates, or what kind of massage you want). Don’t assume anything—just ask!

And always be respectful when asking for what you need. Remember, your therapist is a person too. When you follow the golden rule, you’ll get the best experience.

Tips for the Best Massage Experience

Don’t Eat, Drink, or Smoke Before a Massage
A big meal before a massage isn’t a good idea, and drinking a lot of water can make you need to go to the bathroom during the session. But do drink plenty of water after the massage! Also, try not to smoke right before, since massage can bring out toxins in your body.

Shower Beforehand
Clean up before your massage so you feel fresh and ready to relax. It helps your skin absorb the oils better too! Some therapists even let you shower at their studio before or after your session.

Arrive Early
Try to show up 10-15 minutes early so you can get settled in. This gives you time to relax and be ready for your session. Arriving late means your therapist has less time for you, and they don’t want to rush.

Silence Your Phone
Turning off your phone helps you fully relax. You don’t want to hear constant pings or vibrations while you’re trying to enjoy your massage. It’s all about unwinding, so unplug for a bit!

Undress Comfortably
Usually, the therapist will leave the room while you undress. You can keep your underwear on if that makes you comfortable, or take them off if you prefer. It’s about what feels right for you. And don’t worry, your therapist is used to it—they see a lot of different bodies.

It’s also totally normal for guys to get an erection during a massage. Don’t be embarrassed—it happens. And don’t be afraid to make sounds like moans or sighs during your session. It’s just your body releasing stress.

Using Your Words

At the beginning of your session, feel free to chat with your therapist to make you feel more comfortable. But remember, this time is for relaxation, so don’t worry about talking too much if you’d rather just focus on the massage.

If something feels uncomfortable or you need more pressure, speak up! Your therapist wants to make sure you’re happy and relaxed, and they’ll adjust for you.

Tipping Your Therapist

Just like any other service, tipping is a nice way to show appreciation. The amount depends on how you feel about the experience. A 10-20% tip is pretty standard, but trust your gut.

Post-Massage Feedback

If you had a great experience, let your therapist know! You can also leave a positive review online to help them get more clients.

Where to Get a Gay Massage

Check out our professional male massage services in London, Los Angeles, San Francisco, gay massage London, New York City, and many more. You’ll get the best experience with someone who really cares about your needs.

Enjoy your next gay massage via Gay Wellness!

References

1. Healthline – Explains the mental health benefits of therapeutic and affirming touch for men
   https://www.healthline.com

2. Verywell Mind – Highlights the importance of physical touch and massage in emotional regulation and healing
   https://www.verywellmind.com

3. Massage Magazine – Covers the role of bodywork in stress reduction, trauma release, and emotional wellness
   https://www.massagemag.com